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Funkmaster V Reviews
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7800 Rank: Not Ranked
Genre: Shooter
Awards: With Plutos, Best Tandem Space Shooter Prototype Discoveries of the 2000s
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A Space Shooter Prototype Discovered in 2008? |
Pros:
Incredible Graphics/ Good Sound/ Beautiful Levels/ Tons of Firepower/ Tough Challenge
Cons:
Lame Ass Bosses |
Are you... SIRIUS???? |
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Overview: Once upon a time, my precious childs, before the likes of Ken Siders, MK Smith and Brek Brixius started churning out Prosystem Homebrew games for you to have your way with... 7800 purists were
hard up for new curiosities to horse around with. But suddenly, in 2008, like a nerdier Indiana Jones, a couple of programming heroes discovered the ROMS of the space shooters Sirius AND Plutos an old Atari machine. They were nearly compete, although they had to be tweaked with for months to run properly. Then, voilĂ ! They were released in physical forms for us to enjoy on real 7800 hardware. The most amazing thing about these discoveries is the fact that both Plutos AND Sirius are really good games. whowoodaguessed?
Graphics: Sirius is a horizontal shooter, and unbelievably resembles the arcade game R-Type. There are four different boards with four different themes, and all are unique and features constant new enemies to deal with. The graphics, including the menu which features the name of the game (in case you forgot) look great. Stars move in the background, the ship looks cool, the sidecar ship looks different enough from the main ship to avoid confusion. Movement is smooth, color schemes look like a low rent Turbographix game, and the title screen, bonus screens, and high score table are colorful and well done. To be honest, this title looks as good as what homebrew programmers are churning out these days. The only issues I have noticed so far during my sorties are in the first level. Being set in an asteroid belt, the tiny rocks that litter the edges of your tight corridors blend in with the stars often times and makes for several blind collisions. Also, since this game wasn't 100% finished, sometimes your lazer blasts create graphical "poop" which could be confused as "fun sized asteroids" that cause no damage... but this creates more confusion, and avoiding the non existent obstacles may cause you to freak and ram into something real.
Sound: There's no space jams in this guy so to speak, but the audio is mainly comprised of sweet sweet firepower and the explosions they cause. This game is not only fun to play, it SOUNDS fun to play.
Gameplay: Speaking of firepower, there's plenty of it. All video game shooters have a gimmick, and this game's is the most simple (and maybe the most fun) of them all: Acquire tons of firepower, and rip everything to shreds. This game features a stack-able power up system, but dying reduces your rocketsauce a couple of levels. But if you survive and pick up the power ups littered across the cosmos, you can obtain cool jive like: sidekick gun ships, diagonal lasers and uninterrupted rapid fire. But aha... here's the rub: dying is a real common occurrence in this game... so losing your super sweet power ups happens ALOT. Between the tight caverns, and the semi-tough enemies (who shoot at you and try to ram you almost right away without giving you time to stretch), and the general "SHMUP bullet hell" chaos, you will disappoint the Bee Gees often. (You won't be stayin' alive.... see? That's funny. right?)
Originality:
This is not really a port of an old game, but it kinda... maybe is... but it's not. Many people think this game is a re-tooling of a game called Zybex which was made for the Commodore 64, Atari 8-bit family, and ZX Spectrum. In fact, the prosecution in the case says the programmer KEV and the graphics guy MIK worked on both games. However, Zybex doesn't feature a space ship. It features a black guy (right on) floating in space. While I appreciate the inclusion, the guy is squatting as he's flying around like that old guy from H.E.R.O. but... gross... he's squatting. This reminds me of the old joke about Wonder Woman flying her invisible jet: "Look at that hot chick squatting at 25,000 feet!" This guy from Zybex is no Gal Gardot or Linda Carter... so no one cares. So scoring this game as an original work, I'd say Sirius is an amazing addition to the library.
Value: This game is pretty darn tough. Memorization, especially during the first level, is essential for survival. When you become a Sirius Jedi, the game can be beaten in like 8-9 minutes. Wait.... I lied. Truth be told, you can't really beat the game. After the fourth boss, the boards start over at level 1... and your soul dies a tiny bit. The levels are pretty diverse, though. 1) Asteroid field (the cheapest and hardest to navigate in the game) 2) Giant Space Ship (I think its a spaceship--- plenty of surface to air gun turrets and moderately tight corners) 3) Alien Homeworld (Everything in this level is organic, therefore probably sticky and gross. This board pays homage to Metroid, and the level 3 boss is Tynesoft's take on the Mother brain. There's even a part of this level that reminds me of the old 2600 game Laser Gates). 4 Icy Space Castle (Cool looking level with the most difficult enemy ships to defeat in the game). I wish there was 2 or 3 more levels. I cannot overstate the quality of the graphics and diversity of enemies and stages. There is no two player option but there are two difficulty levels: Easy and Hard. Those are selected by flipping player one's difficulty switch.
Overall: With tons of firepower, different enemies, 4 levels, and your best friend Mr. Side Ho/ Gunship at your side, Sirius is easily one of the best shooters for the 7800. With all the positives that you can say, the level bosses (in typical 7800 fashion) are really pretty LAME. I'm looking at you Plutos, Planet Smashers, Sentinel, and all you other space bullshitters. Get your boss flex together. ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY... boss number three looks like a real boss from an actual real video game... mainly because... it kinda looks like Mother Brain from Metroid. Still... that is a cagey fight. Pick this game up pronto and start memorizing the first level if you can. For someone like me who can't devote 190 hours to defeating Elden Ring on the PS5, this is the type of game I can horse around with for 20 minutes at a time and feel satisfied. It's perfect that way. Sirius is was a lost treasure that should have been enjoyed by thousands of Atarians. Sadly, Tynesoft got out of the video game----game, before it was. But... there is a happy ending in the world of Sirius... although it was never released for the 7800 officially, it refused to quit, got its communication degree and radiotelephone operator permit, hired Howard Stern, and eventually defeated XM Radio to become the king of satellite radio. See, baby Huey? Some shit works out for those that love the funk.
Additional Info: I would like to take this time to thank www.AtariProtos.com for allowing the use of the screenshots for this review.
Other Reviews:
Video Game Critic: B
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