Every Atari 7800 Game Reviewed
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Cheat to Win
The List of Lists


5.0 Perfect
4.5 Excellent
4.0 Very Good
3.5 Good
3.0 Fair
2.5 Weak
2.0 Poor
1.5 Bad
1.0 Terrible
0.5 Atrocious
0.0 Your Mom

Funkmaster V Reviews

7800 Rank: Unranked

Genre: Sports (Basketball)

Distinction: Most Infamous Atari 7800 Gameplay Sequence
Is Jesus Returning? What is Dr. J and Larry Bird Looking at? Pros: Janitor's Oral Rampage/ Tons of Gameplay Options
Cons: Ugly AF/ Parts of the Game Feel Rushed
The Game Opens With Ol' Larry Missing a Free Throw. (Sigh) What the Hell Was Wrong With Atari???

Overview: I remember that this was the first big game for the 7800. It came complete with an awesome commercial from Spudd Webb, where he said with relief, "Finally, I can play with
the big boys." I always thought Spud Webb could play with the big boys..... whatever, dude. Short people sell their tiny souls for money all the time anyways. This was a game that got Atari playing with the big boys, because I also remember a TV Guide review of games for Christmas and they said this was the best basketball game on the market, beating out NES's Double Dribble, and Sega's forgettable basketball game. One-on-One Basketball got an A- grade from the reviewer and Nintendo must have taken notice. Later that year Nintendo released a One-on-One with Michael Jordan game... but that game sucked. So... sucks to be you.

Graphics: Not much to write home about here. The court looks good, but that's about it. The goal, scoreboard, and the ball have a real "cut out of construction paper" look to them. Dr. J, Larry Bird, the ref and janitor look weird as well. If it wasn't for Dr. J being black and Larry Bird being white, there would be no way to easily identify the players. But what One-on-One lacks in flash they make up for it in substance.

Sound: Can you believe the sound was not good for this game? Well, it's another sports game from the 7800. The only audio clips here that are worth a pee pee were during the illustrious backboard shatter scene. This may be the best and most famous and best and most awesome and bestest scene from a 7800 game. After a vicious Dr. J or Larry Bird jam (normally Dr. J for obvious reasons), the backboard will shatter and its actually sounds like glass breaking. Then the janitor will come out and sweep the glass up, but before he'll finish, he will tell the player that broke the backboard how he felt about it! The gibberish barrage of imaginary cuss words is hilarious, and it always was an event me and my chums looked forward to seeing every time we played One-on-One.

Gameplay: You actually have a lot of freedom in OoOB. The game is very approachable because almost everything is controled with one button. You can make your own moves (kind of) by tapping the left button and moving the stick in zig zaggy directions. Tapping the left button causes you to spin 180 degrees, and handles all of the shooting, spinning, jumping, and stealing. The right button calls a T-O Baby! As far as the rest of the game goes, the action is pretty slow. This looks more like a Dr. J vs. Bird match-up if it was played today, not in their primes. When you shoot an outside shoot, sometimes the ball will just hang in the air so much you can catch a quick nap before the ball approaches the rim. Oh well, even though the controls are sluggish, this game has a lot going for it though, like the fatigue bar, hot streaks, and you even have 5 fouls to give before your opponent gets the "bonus". Fast games are a lot of fun.

Interpretation: The 7800 version of this game is not bad compared to others. Some of the computer versions of this game have horrendous graphics... here... we just have kinda bad.

Value: There are many options in the game that lengthen the lifespan of the cart to a certain degree. You can play to a set score, like 21, or any other number between 1-99. You can also play a 4 quarter game, with various period lengths. You can even play winner's outs, or as the hip kids now call it: Make-it Take-it. The computer has 4 difficulty levels, from Park & Rec to Pro. After a few games, even the Pro level computer should be a chump to your newly found mad skills. I remember this was a great game to play with a friend back in the day, but it can still be fun if you have no social life. Just sit back with an ice cold Pepsi and watch the computer play itself as your life slowly slips away. Yes... watching the computer play itself... that's an option for only the saddest of men.

Overall: If you like the game of one-on-one basketball, or you are a fan of Dr J. and Larry Bird, this game is worth the scratch you will lay down for it. The postal janitor scene alone is worth that. Yeah, it's not NBA Live, but if you want to kick Bird's butt in a friendly game of one-on-one because he always beat the Knicks, (ahem...no emotional scars) it's a decent and fairly fun translation of B-Ball madness. I have recently re-reviewed this game after buying the Atari Ultimate Fight Stick w/ Trackball (article here), and I am impressed how fun, easy, and laid back it is to just drop in, play a game of One on One, and back out. Pretty impressive gameplay, so I bumped it up from a 3.0 to a 3.5. You can say this about the 7800... it sucked at sports games overall but their basketball offerings were pretty damn fun.

Other Reviews:
The Atari Times: 7 out of 10
CV's Atari 7800 Panoramic Froo-Froo: 3.0 out of 5.0 (Fair)
Video Game Critic: C

Additional Info: I would like to take this time to thank Mitch Orman, owner of The Atari 7800 Page for allowing the use of his screenshots for this review.