Every Atari 7800 Game Reviewed
Funkmaster V Challenges
Cheat to Win
The List of Lists


5.0 Perfect
4.5 Excellent
4.0 Very Good
3.5 Good
3.0 Fair
2.5 Weak
2.0 Poor
1.5 Bad
1.0 Terrible
0.5 Atrocious
0.0 Your Mom

Funkmaster V Reviews

7800 Rank: 7th Best Official Release

Genre: Action & Adventure/ Multi Directional Shooter

Sheesus... Always With Their Shirts Off...These Two Pros: Explosions!/ Beatable Game/ Smooth Gameplay/ Great Two Player Co-op
Cons: Graphics
Yo Adrian... Would You Like to See Some Exotic Animals?

Overview: Ikari Warriors is an arcade classic that is very similar to another infamous 7800 port: Commando. These games are obviously influenced by the
ultra violent Rambo-style movies of that era: Blood, Boogers, and Butts everywhere types of things. While people's opinions of those movies may vary, most classic video game enthusiasts have nothing but high praise for Ikari Warriors and Commando's Prosystem adaptations. Does the Funk agree? We shall see.

Graphics: There is one thing for sure, this game's graphics will not cause anyone to faint....unless it is from disappointment. And if you faint from disappointment, you may have bigger problems to worry about. Bad colors combine with 5200 quality graphics to create a palate of visual sadness. I can't get the brown (the main color) not to look like baby poop on my TV, and let's not mention how the olive/ hunter green compliments it (not). The characters are big, but blocky, and the looks of other items in the game range from decent to terrible. While the tank sprites are functional, hand grenades, arrows, both "arrow shooters", and helicopters are not good. The helicopters look more like something I would call "Whirling-Dervishes of Doom". To my recollection, they look like some of the first filmed attempts at aviation that would sputter, crash, and explode... leaving the pilot to spill out and look at the camera like "Wha- Happened?" As with most 7800 "big" games that can be beaten, the final stage graphics go straight to Hell for the sake of space. The final compound's graphics seep almost into "2600 land" visually. And what is up with the green/golden general at the end of the game that we came to rescue? Why is 7 stories tall? Why couldn't he Grape Ape himself out of this chintzy place like a giant Zangief? Who knows? With that tongue lashing, there are a few redeemable points to the game graphic-wise: The sprites are bigger than Commando's, for whatever that is worth. Also, the port suffers from absolutely ZERO slow down, even with two players playing simultaneously. And the positive point you should care about the most: the explosions are wonderful. If you explode a pill box, it will explode, and those explosions can explode whatever they touch, causing more explosions to explode! That's a lot of explosions! Surrounding tanks, people, arrow towers, ham sammiches, whatever. There will be loads of Rambo-esque testosterone flowing throw your veins when you wipe out 20 guys with a single hand grenade. Very groooovy.

Sound: The music is so random in this game, it is funny. Sounds like a cat on the Casio keyboard. The sound effects are decent, except for the helicopter's. The explosions sound extra crunchy and nice. Fair effort here, but it can't compete with Commando's pokey chip audio.

Gameplay: Ikari Warriors wins the day with how it plays. The two player co-op is flawless, but even if you are a lonely nerd, you will dig the smooth gameplay. One or two Ikari Warriors scroll upwards, shooting off guns and hurling hand grenades at everything that comes at them. And there is a bunch of baddies to destroy. That's probably why this game is so much fun. At times, you can wipe out almost all of your enemies at once with a well placed hand grenade. The forced scrolling from the arcade is gone, and even though that takes away from the frantic pace, I like it much better. You can take your time and blow everything to kingdom come. Also, if you remember the arcade version at all, you will remember the nifty "walk one way, shoot another way" dynamic utilized with the arcade's funky spin-controllers. While this is not perfectly replicated, the 7800 does a great job of capturing that feel with the limited hardware. If you hold the fire button down, you can walk in any direction you please, shooting in another direction. It's a nice try. Let's not forget to mention all of the awesome power-ups we have as well: Super Bullets, Mega Grenades, Cannon fire, Exploding Cannon Fire...lots of carnage inflicting armory here folks. Oh yeah...one more thing...you get to drive tanks that can resist bullets and run over people. HOW GROOVE-A-LICIOUS IS THAT? As good as all of that is, I found firing at diagonals a little tricky... therefore the Gameplay score can't be perfect... but it's darn close. Let's Kill EEEVVVEEERRRYYYOOONNNEEE!!!

Interpretation: Atari did a great job squeezing Ikari Warriors into this little cart. The game takes about a half hour to beat, and really does capture the arcade feeling of Ikari Warriors. The only negative facets to the game can be overlooked with love: no forced scrolling, the exact feel of the controls (which would be impossible to replicate with standard controllers), and weak graphics. The soul of the game is in this cart, I promise you (I saw a necromancer put it there). Boy- that joke made it weird. Sorry.

Value: I beat IW in a reasonable amount of time on the intermediate level, and I found myself trying to beat it again the next day (didn't do it by the way). So in a nutshell, this title is so much fun, you want to keep playing the game. I really think the reason I love Ikari Warriors so much has to do with all the swank explosions. I love seeing the chaos that one simple attack can employ. I actually had a friend come over because I told him I just received Ikari Warriors, and I played Atari with a pal for the first time in 12 years. We played the game for over an hour, and we had a blast. That should tell you something about the fun factor of the game.

Overall: Pepsi vs. Coke, Ford vs. Chevy, Calvinism vs. Arminianism... we all have our favorites... and at the end of the day, you will too when it comes to the 7800 versions of Commando vs. Ikari Warriors. Commando has better graphics, sound and hidden POW camps... but Ikari Warriors has that sweet two player co-op option and tanks. I prefer Commando... but not by much. In fact, it reminds me of my kids. I prefer one over the other, solely because of looks, but I love them both very much. But... one has the chance to make me Brittany Spears money as a model... so... you know.... Someone gets better Christmas presents... that's all I'm saying***. So............ in summary, if you can look past the horrible graphics for a few moments, and try to peer into this game's inner beauty, you will find a really great game here. This is the system's Ugly Duckling, and if you give it some playing time, it will turn into a swan before your eyes... a sweat covered, shirtless, roided out, machine gun toting swan.

Other Reviews:
CV's Atari 7800 Panoramic Froo-Froo: 4.0 out of 5.0 (Very Good)
The Atari Times: 7 out of 10
Video Game Critic: B+
Atari Gaming Headquarters:: 9 out of 10

Additional Info: I would like to take this time to thank Mitch Orman, owner of The Atari 7800 Page for allowing the use of his screenshots for this review.

*** relax, super dad... I only have one kid. And I hate him.