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Save Mary Box Art Gallery

Unreleased Atari 2600 prototype "Save Mary" was discovered years after the 2600 was pronounced dead. It was a good puzzle game that was unplayable on a 2600 system due to internal bank switching issues. But clever kids with them big brainz discovered how to make this problematic 2600 cart playable by releasing it as a 7800 title... to the delight of dozens worldwide. It later got more pub by being featured in the plug n play Flashback 2... increasing the "Save Mary" fan base to even more dozens. Filled with chivalry, excitement, the toxic patriarchy, and/or lust, artists from all over started creating "Save Mary" box art by the truckload. And by truckload, I mean like eleven or twelve. Some of the box art is bad. Some are terrible. Here... I will mock them to the delight of even less dozens.

Exhibit #1

I was going to make fun of this rendition pretty hard... then I realized that some poor Atari fan spent 8 minutes drawing this, and I didn't want to be a jerk. Then... after a little research and checking, I was floored to find out that this WAS ACTUALLY THE BOX ART ATARI WAS GOING WITH IF THEY RELEASED IT. There's a lot to unpack here. First of all, besides being known for incredibly addictive and simple games, Atari is known for amazing box art. This... is... unacceptable on 99 1/2 levels... especially that cheap ass yellow looking font. Then there's the art style... it looks like the work of an unmotivated freshman who got a B in art class. Then there's Mary herself: White trash Mary: complete with the Tennessee Tall Hair (or New Jersey Mall hair... depending where you live in relation to the Mason/ Dixon line) and those luscious Daisy Dukes. And... let's be honest... I've seen that mouth before... Hmmm.... but where...

That's it!

Exhibit #2

This one is actually the label I have printed as a 7800 cart, and I should upload what that looks like one day for 7800 fans to gawk at. I can't remember who did that label for me, but he used to make me all sorts of awesome stuff. I love him. But the artwork, to be honest... is kinda morbid. She looks underage to begin with and... dead. That kinda sucks... but let's face it. Games like these... the games that can't be beaten... failure is eminent.

Exhibit #3

Eschewing the temptation to cash in on the "sex sells" trope of box art #1, entry 3 only commits the crime of mild plagiarism. The Save Mary collage is actually from the Atari 2600 mega hit "Basic Programming". I have no idea what kind of terrible garbage you could create with that game, but the bored looking guy on the box probably fits the vibe of it. But to have his visage on the cover of an action/puzzle game including women drowning and tons of falling building materials? No, sir. This goof has to go. And... is this guy in the turtleneck, the crane operator? That's an odd choice of clothes to work the cranes in that day... but thank the good lord in the sky that he decided to get his forgotten thermos after church and saw poor ole Mary stuck in that ravine when he did. Crisis averted.

Exhibit #4

An Atariage user named Justin made this years ago, and its probably my favorite Save Mary label. Also, I think in 2005 or so I thought this model was really hot, and if I remember correctly I tried finding out who she was. I dunno... I was working night shift then and had seasonal affective disorder. Leave me alone. Anyways... I like the stark black and white grayscale look of the cart and the cranes and stuff on the bottom. As good as it looks, one could easily make the mistake that this game was about a raging 10,000 foot tall woman that is destroying a city underneath her tidy, white Keds. Speaking of which.... where's that game at???

Exhibit #5

The nice fellas at Video 61 (aka host a website that has new in the box Atari games and accessories for pretty good deals. However, once you go to the site you will notice right away that the site itself is a relic from the geocities/ angelfire era and the box art on the Video 61 games are just plain bad. In other words, these aren't the most artistic fellows around. Maybe they should have thought about that terrible but true trope "sex sells" while designing this label. Theirs features two stick figures that do not appear in the game in a blue bowl that reminds me of a toilet. Also, Maxi-Ram sounds like the worst way to insert feminine hygiene products. If the government issued generic video games with your government cheese and peanut butter, it would probably look alot like this thing.

Exhibit #6

I'm not sure where I found this image, but the orangey-red hues and fuzziness of the image remind me of that Huey Lewis and the News video about "getting money for nothing and chicks for free." Wait... was that Peter Gabriel? Night Ranger? Dire Straits? I can't remember... It's been a long time since MTV showed videos. Again, the artist resisted putting a big boobed woman in a wet T-shirt on the box, opting for the working crane angle. These Atari folks are gentlemen.

Exhibit #7

The last image I could find on the internet is not that bad. Cartoony for sure, but the woman featured is definitely in distress. I'm not sure if it fits the vibe of this game or not, because when I see this housewife-looking lady surrounded by water, I think that the house is flooding or something. Is this a plumbing game? No. Because plumbing games would suck. Oh wait... the Mario Brothers are plumbers. On second thought... this label wins BEST PLACE.

I remember back in the double aughts that there were a few Save Mary covers that were pretty sexual in nature, but inexplicably, they have seemed to have vanished off the web. I would have liked to have poked fun at these, but its probably best that they vanished. Who knows? Maybe those guys got laid. If you have, know of, or found any Save Mary artwork that I missed, please email me and let me know! I'll add it to the page!!!