Every Atari 7800 Game Reviewed
Funkmaster V Challenges
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5.0 Perfect
4.5 Excellent
4.0 Very Good
3.5 Good
3.0 Fair
2.5 Weak
2.0 Poor
1.5 Bad
1.0 Terrible
0.5 Atrocious
0.0 Your Mom

Funkmaster V Reviews

7800 Rank: Not Ranked

Genre: Sports (Pro Wrestling)

Awards: None
Hey! Looks Promising! Pros: Excellent Saturday Morning Local Rasslin' Graphics
Cons: No Actual 'Wrestling' Takes Place/ Terrible Computer AI
Looks Can Be Deceiving...Especially in Pro Wrestling

Overview: I love the Atari 7800, but boy do the third party games for this thing suck out loud. Title Match Pro Wrestling, like that flirtacious hooker at the bar, may fool you with dazzling good looks... but once you pop it in, you will soon realize only disease and dispair lay within. The 7800 sucks when it comes to fighting games and sports games... so here ya go, baby. 2 for 1.

Graphics: As bad as this game is, I do love the look of it. It reminds me of the early Saturday morning madhouse that local TV pro wrestling looked like when i was a kid in the 80s. The ring is much smaller than Mat Mania Challenge's, but the wrestlers are bigger and more wrestler-like. Mat Mania's wrestlers looked like skinny rednecks from Deliverance, but Title Match's grapplers actually look like the freak show and slightly racist hodge podge God intends wrestling to be. You have a Native American that goes by Big Chief, a man from Iraq named Skin Head (huh?), a masked man donned Mr. Mean, and a white guy named Mad Dog. The crowd and arena even looks like your typical independent wrestling league in your typical one horse town. I love the ring steps, the jumbo tron, and the camera guy too.

Sound: Instead of music we are treated to a swelling crowd noise with some weird whistle effects thrown in. It doesn't really sound like a crowd, but it's better than the lame music loop that the other 7800 wrestling game Mat Mania Challenge has. There are decent collision noises, even though when a wrestler hits the ring ropes it sounds like he hit a trash can.

Gameplay: The game goes to hell when we try to play it. That's not a good sign when it comes to video games. I would think, naturally, that a wrestling game would have a bevy of wrestling moves. While it has the body slam and the Irish Whip, it is totally void of any other wrestling techniques. In addition to those moves, you do have punch, kick, throw the guy outside, something that is supposed to be like a headlock slam--- which is not a real move, and this twirly silliness that spins the guy around and sends him into the ropes. The game calls this move the "Airplane Spin", but this is laughable because this is not an Airplane Spin. This move is something you do with a younger brother until he screams for mom or vomits. Computer AI is terrible, since wrestlers aimlessly meander around the ring in diagonal lines. The secret to this game is punching and kicking. These are the best moves in the game since all other moves you perform hurt you as much or more than your opponent taking damage! Yes, you read that right! A body slam or the infamous airplane spin hurts you as much as the guy you are fighting! What... the... funk? The second button is not utilized... which would have been good for more move options, because wrestling games are all about doing cool moves to someone, but screw it. These programmers at Absolute wanted to get the game done by lunch. Looks like they succeeded. I hope it was a good one and they got to see that cute waitress.

Originality: This game is only original because it is such a bad interpretation of it's subject matter. I have never seen a game that claims to deal with something that is so unlike what it was intended to be (Except maybe Super Skateboardin'!) It looks and somewhat sounds like a Wrestling Match, but imagine for a moment if the characters and backgrounds were different. This game resembles church women fighting each other over a handbag at Filene's Basement more than it does a wrestling game. Da fuq outta here.

Value: Matches are 2 out of 3 falls. You can have a tag match or a singles match, but both variations suck. In the tag match, the partners are on the same side of the ring which is weird looking. The funny about the game is this: I can sometimes win two falls in about 10 seconds, but if things turn sour, a match can last all night long. You cannot score a pinfall unless you have a significant amount of energy more than your opponent's energy bar. Since almost every offensive move takes energy, you can spend minutes trying to avoid your opponent to let your health restore so you can hopefully land a move and a quick pin... BUT... this is easily thwarted since your opponent can just charge you and make you have to spend energy fighting him off! The vicious cycle continues... where's the Dig Dug cart? Let's put that in and call this stupid shiz a draw.

Overall: Sometimes I read reviews of games and I think "Surely this thing can't be that bad. The reviewer is just trying to act cool or something." Nope... not trying to act cool. I'm reviewing a 30 year old video game for Christ's sake... how cool can I be? This thing is terrible. I played it today for the re-review and its worse than I remember. Games like Title Match Pro Wrestling are why people overlooked this system to begin with. Title Match Pro Wrestling sucks.

Other Reviews:
Atari Gaming Headquarters: 2 out of 10
CV's Atari 7800 Panoramic Froo-Froo: 2.0 out of 5.0 (Poor)
The Atari Times: 4 out of 10

Additional Info: I would like to take this time to thank Mitch Orman at www,Atari7800.org for allowing the use of his screenshots for this review.