Every Atari 7800 Game Reviewed
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5.0 Perfect
4.5 Excellent
4.0 Very Good
3.5 Good
3.0 Fair
2.5 Weak
2.0 Poor
1.5 Bad
1.0 Terrible
0.5 Atrocious
0.0 Your Mom

Funkmaster V Reviews

7800 Rank: Not Ranked

Genre: Sports (Mini Golf)

Awards: None
Now What in Hell Is Goin' On Up in Har? Pros: Impressive Amount of Courses and Options/ Wild Obstacles
Cons: Ugly/ Not a Great Mini Golf Simulator
Come on Down to the Butter Barn

Overview: In all reality, the review for Putt 18 Miniature Golf should be video only, because its an insanely wild and difficult experience to simply write about.
A written review is going to be kinda like writing a play by play for those high cable kickboxing matches where the combatants are blindfolded, or the ones where the fighters have one hand tied behind their back, or even a Russian 5 on 5 MMA match. Basically, you have to see this thing in action to really get what's happening. I don't know if it succeeds as a putt putt video game, but it did make me laugh out loud several times watching the shit on the screen go crazy.

Graphics: Putt 18 is a clever play on words based on the infamous Mean 18 Ultimate Golf title for the 7800 (at least I think it is), but she doesn't look as pretty as her big brother. Trial and error is the only way to determine what is a wall, what is a green, what is a sand, what is a dangling thingy... wait a minute... what are these things flying around the screen? This golf course must be possessed, because weird jive of unknown origins are flying around the greens like crazy go nuts. They look like enemies from the game Reactor for the most part, but their patterns make less sense. What happens to the ball when it hits these obstacles makes no sense at all. It's like an 80s computerized music video has been let loose in my Atari. I don't know if I like it, (but I think I do).

Sound: When graphics are below average on a 7800 game, sound typically sucks even worse. That's pretty congruent here. Of course, a putt putt game or any golf game for that matter shouldn't really be cranking out the jams, so I will show mercy on the score. But still, there's a whole lot of quiet going down.

Gameplay: There's two ways to play this title. You can be a lameass boring dude and play it without course hazards, or you can take the red pill and hop into the rabbit hole... Do it. Do ittttttttttt. Activate the demonically possessed course hazards!!! It's true, with these activated, you may score a 16 on a hole, or you could get a very unlikely hole in one with no skill at all. Whatever the case, the second option makes this otherwise easily tossed aside homebrew title fun as hell. There are two ways to aim and strike the ball, but the first option is all you need because the second option is wildly confusing and counter-intuitive. On option one, you aim with a reticule (cool) and hold the button down for power. Release that bad boy to see what the hell happens. As a pretty good pool player, I would like to state that I think the physics of the bank shots are suspect at times, but for the most part they are OK enough for a title this chaotic.

Originality: Putt putt is a pretty weird experience in real life, made solely for awkward dates and desperate family outings. But the system's first 7800 miniature golf game goes in off places unseen previously by human eyes.

Value: The most impressive feature in this game are the number of courses you have at your finger tips and the number of gameplay options. Now graphically speaking, some of these different courses are presented better than others. You can hole it up on Lance's Water World Bay Golf, Adventure Land Putt Putt, Castle Putt Putt Golfland, Frontier Putt Putt Golf (sucks), Putt Wizard Fun Golf, a Random Course, or Pete's Green Hill Course. Kinda weird that they put them in that order, but whaddyagonnado? You can also change the gameplay mechanics, moving obstacles or no, or whether or not the courses have hills. You can also choose between one or two players. Believe me, with the moving obstacles enabled, you should find a friend and bet real American folding money on this jazz. There will be screaming as your friend's ball is carried to far off places by a nihilistic disco screw.

Overall: You know what's crazy? The Atari 7800 sports line up is so abysmal, this crazy little thing is one of the top 5 sports titles easy. Us cool kids are used to a bunch of 7800 games coming out of the Atari Age store by now, but this creation has been birthed from Lance Rinquist and Pete J. Meyer's sweaty hips at Video 61 (V61) located at www.atarisales.com. Now dabbling more and more in the homebrew creation market, Video 61 has been previously known as a great online store of Atari consoles and computer games. They also have a ton of accessories and controllers for many Atari systems (and it remains the best place to pick up a new, cheap Atari XE light gun). They've featured a few exclusive 7800 after market creations like Combat 1990 and Harry Dodgson's Monitor Cart in the past, but Putt 18 Miniature Golf is their best 7800 offering to date. Wait... am I recommending this weird thing? Ask me another way. Is it good? Naw... Is it fun? Hell yeah, its fun. Tired of being overwhelmed by space shooters and maze games in the 7800 homebrew scene? Well babies, here ya go. Now go get your putt on with Video 61.

Additional Info: I would like to take this time to thank Video 61 for allowing the use of these screenshots for this review.

For a glance at the Castle Course and the moving obstacle's insane gameplay, take a gander at this video around the 14 minute mark.