Funkmaster V Reviews

7800 Rank: Unranked

Genre Rank: (Sports)

Awards: None
Is that Ronald Reagan and a Kangaroo? How did We Get Tickets? Pros: Big cartoony boxers/ Fun tournament mode
Cons: One Player game is too easy/ The boxing is too simplistic/ Cannot perform the boxer's specialty punches
The Fix is In. That Was Definitely a Low Blow

Overview: Your name is Crazy Craven. You are a little white boxer with a skinny neck. Yes, you have heard all of the rumors, and you have read all of the papers. Tonight, you will be destroyed by the World Champ, the Bronx Bomber. Its a good thing this game is easy, because normally a
guy that big would twist you like a pretzel.

Graphics: The graphics in this game are kind of like a mix between a Saturday morning cartoon and an early 80's Amiga computer. The boxers are mildly amusing, but HEY WAIT! These sneaky-ass computer programmers... They CLAIM that there are 12 different fighters to pick from... pretty good, right? Hell, Street Fighter 2 only had 8!!! AHA! You have been fooled! There are only 6 different character models, each with two different color schemes and two different names. Speaking of which, the color schemes are a little gaudy, but overall the in match graphics are pretty good. The serious problem comes with the menus. The menus are grey. That's pretty much it. They are grey. There are black letters in a green or pink box, surrounded by a lot of grey. This kinda resembles what it would look like if the government handed out generic video games along with their government cheese. But there are nice touches... like the Title Belt screen and the Ticket Stubs announcing the main event. But by the same token, some graphics are really bad, like the opening title screen and the insipid training room. It's kinda like good graphics and bad graphics are battling it out in this game, as well as the fighters. Hot tip: No one wins.

Sound: Ding-Ding, Roar, and Punch Landed. That's pretty much it. The roar gets louder and softer, the "ding-ding" starts the match, and never fluctuates in volume. The landing of a punch sounds like a millisecond sample of TV static.

Gameplay: Matches can last 3 rounds and players score points for successful punches landed. If it goes to a decision, which is highly unlikely, the player with the most points wins. If it is tied, Player 1 wins!!! Talk about Home Cookin'. 99% of all matches will end in the first round by an early KO. Once a boxer is knocked down the bell rings and the match is over. No ten count... no getting back up. It looks like a Don King production around here, ya'll. Player 1 faces right, and Player 2 faces left. Up and the left button delivers a head shot, down and the left button takes a swing at the body. The only way to really deliver a knock out punch though is by learning how to perform the mildly tricky "Running Punch". This is executed by moving to the left, and then quickly pushing right along with hitting the punch button. If this connects, you will score 6 times as many points as a normal punch well as scoring 6 times as much damage. This is easily mastered, and when it is mastered, matches MIGHT last as long as 60 seconds. But if done right, you should be able to win a match against anyone within 15-20 seconds. The game has 4 different modes of play: Main Event, Exhibition, Tournament, and Training. Training features your boxer of choice and a heavy bag. Basically, all this is good for is figuring out how to do the "Running Punch". After a minute or two in there, you will probably never go back to see this place again. Exhibition is your standard 2 player match. Tournament is a good option, where you and a friend (or several friends) can enter several boxers into a "Box-off." Round after round, winners will whittle away the competition until someone has the World Championship. "Main Event" is the main feature of the game. Here you cannot pick your man, and you are forced to use Crazy Craven. You will fight 5 different competitors on your way to the World Title. After mastering the game, beating the entire "Main Event" could take as little as a minute or two. The biggest disappointment in the game could have been so easily fixed, too. When the computer gets to use the fighters, each boxer has his own crazy "special punch" that ranges from front kicks, wild body shots, and an overhand punch that squishes you like an accordion. Mysteriously, you cannot perform these moves. The right button is not used... all you had to do programmers... right-clicky clicky... see? If you did right-clicky clicky... then I could kick that Castro fool in the face. WHY YOU DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO LAME? OH, you know what would have been really funktastic? Howze about after you defeat an opponent, you ABSORB their punches and incorporate them into your own arsenal of offense. Man, I should have made 1980's sports games. Too bad I was 12 when this one came out.

Originality: This was based on a computer game, I believe, but I never played it. So, for Originality, I would have to give Fight Night a mixed score. I like the cartoon-like boxers with the funny special punches. It keeps the game light-hearted and fun. But the gameplay is too simple. No hooks, no uppercuts, no cuts, no getting up after getting knocked down. The right button is not used. Pushing left and right on the stick and the punch button fakes a punch, which is useless. This is a button mash fest anyway, so no one is gonna pay attention to who is faking a friggin' punch. But oh well, fake punches are pretty original...I guess. Despite the weak gameplay, the tournament part is pretty cool, and I remember me and my friends enjoying this as kids. It also should be said that Fight Night is a much better two-player game than a one player game. The trick is finding two people who would want to play it now. The 12 boxers all have strengths and weakness...and some just have strengths and more strengths. Each boxer's punch is rated, and his ability to take a punch to the head and body is also rated. These were pretty original options for the time.

Value: The one player game is just way too easy once you figure out the "Running Punch." The two player tournament is a good addition to Fight Night, although finding two people who would want to play this today would be tricky. The Training room is nearly a waste. Just like your mom.

Overall: When I think of Fight Night, I think of the word: anemic. For one, DipStick and Little Moe look very unhealthy, and their parents should have fed them more meat when they were growing up. WHY DO YOU WANNA BE A BOXER? But moreover, the word anemic reminds me of how weak this game is, and how good it could have been. Its just impossible to not compare Fight Night to NES's Ring King and of course, Mike Tyson's Punchout. And when you do that... Fight Night gets knocked out in the 1st. On a system devoid of quality fighting games, this one wins the title by default... but its like being the Golden Gloves champ in Butte, Idaho. Let's not get cocky.

Additional Info: I would like to take this time to thank Mitch Orman, owner of The Atari 7800 Page for allowing the use of his screenshots for this review.